Hi friends,
I’m sorry that I didn’t join you for coffee this morning. Can I make it up to you with a fresh pot of hot coffee this afternoon?
I meant to post last night, but I just needed a break.
I have been feeling emotionally drained.
Like tears for no reason, and hyper sensitive emotionally drained.
It didn’t help that my mom left last night after a really fun visit and my kids, especially Katelyn, took her needing to leave so hard.
I mean, she begged to go, for Grandma to stay and each time the tears just rolled bigger and stronger down her little cheeks.
By the time I braved the drive home and putting the kids to bed, I needed a time out just to allow my own emotions to process.
But I’m feeling much better today and really wanted to kick up my feet and enjoy a cup of coffee with my friends.
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about my love languages. I’m positive one of my strongest love languages is Words of Affirmation. So much so that I constantly have worries and feelings of anxiety consuming me.
I obsess over:
if people like me
what people thing of me
what if i hurt someones feelings
what if my feelings get hurt
am I being a good wife a good mom
are my kids getting enough attention
why is it that words that my 4 year old speak in anger affect me to the core
This past week I even had someone who doesn’t know me attack my character.
And I’m totally one to sit and obsess and rehash each situation and worry about how I can change the person’s mind and make it all better, but I’m realizing that I can’t.
I can’t be everything to everyone all the time.
Then yesterday I was reading from the new She Reads Truth Bible study and of course it’s all on worry.
And it hit me.
The only words of affirmation I need are the ones that come from my Heavenly Father. I need to stop focusing on what other’s are saying or doing and allowing those distractions to keep me from the plans he has for my life, or the relationships He is blessing me with. I think far too often, I let all these worries completely cloud my judgment. They hold me captive and then they leave room for Satan’s lies to come in and become strongholds.
Because I’m realizing this need for affirmation is so prevalent in my life, I also realize that I need to be spending time in my Bible and doing my daily devotions so that my focus can stay on God and allow him to speak those words of affirmation into my life. I’m so grateful for She Reads Truth. Knowing that I’m surrounded by so many other amazing women who are reading these words of encouragement alongside me each day helps me to stand strong against these strongholds.
I know this doesn’t mean that I won’t still need those words of affirmation in my life, I know they are an innate part of my love language, I just need to learn not to let the need for them become overpowering in my life.
Do you ever feel this way? Do you struggle with needing words of affirmation to make it through your day, only to have one negative comment totally consume you?
If you’re joining me for coffee today please:
1. link directly to your post.
2. include a link back so other’s can join us too
3. meet someone else for coffee today
@ragstostitches
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Hi + welcome to my little spot in the blogesphere.
I'm so glad you stopped by.
My name is Alissa + I'm the fun-loving, chocolate addict, coffee drinking
Wife + Mom behind the blog Rags to Stitches.
I hope you’ll pop around and stay for a while.
That totally sounds like me! Worrying what others think of me, worrying I might hurt someone’s feelings, all that! I thrive on words of affirmation. My love language goes between that and quality time. I’m glad to hear others have some of the same feelings I do about words of affirmation!
I was having the same kind of morning yesterday. Crying at everything! It’s good to be reminded that all I need is God’s word. I’m bad at remembering it by myself.
I go through this too. I’ll be having a great day, and then bam something someone says ruins my day.
Shereadstruth is amazing, I enjoy every minute of it!
My strongest love language is also words of affirmation. I have noticed, especially, that any unkind or hurtful words than anyone tells me stick with me for so long…years later I’ll remember what they said and still feel hurt, which isn’t a good thing. On that issue I pray for the ability to completely forgive whoever spoke unkindly to me and for the ability to completely forget what they said. As children of God there is no reason that we should be haunted by the wrong things people say…
On the plus side, I find that with “words of affirmation” being so important to me, I remember all of the kind things and compliments that people give me years and years later, and they still have the power to make me smile!
Don’t ever feel alone in those feelings. I have them on a daily basis. And then I hate myself for feeling so needy. It’s a vicious cycle. It took a long time to be ok with who I am and where I am at without needing anyones approval but God’s and my own. And once I realized it, I felt much more free to do as I pleased and be happy. I hope you hear God’s voice everyday telling you how much you’re loved and how proud of you He is. Never let someones harsh words take that away from you, even if it hurts for the moment.
Yep – I need to be appreciated verbally, need to hear those words – or have someone do something nice for me. And, because God has a sense of humor : )
my husband’s love language is touch. which is my absolute lowest one. It is a struggle at times!
I too can repeat verbatim conversations from over 10 years ago that involved either someone hurting my feelings, or me hurting someone’s feelings. Yikes. I need to let it go – and some days I’m better at doing that than other days. Work in progress, right?
I don’t have a blog so i can’t link up – but I do so enjoy reading the blogs of others!
So so true that you only need words of affirmation from God!
Good thing to remember!
I struggle with this so often. I struggle to find my acceptance in Christ only, not from my friends or husband or even strangers. I totally identify with this struggle. Thank you for sharing this. =)
Alesha <3
Excellent post momma
This is why I walked away from Facebook 2 years ago. I got so wrapped up in what people thought and then when negative stuff would get aimed my way I could barely shake it from my head. Ugh! Not healthy. Glad your working on a balance, affirmation is good for the soul!
I totally get you! My biggest thing is sufficiency. Is feeling good enough, and like I’m doing enough. I think we all need words of affirmation, but I definitely think that it is a stronger need for some.
Also, this post made me check out She Reads Truth and I think I need to totally get in on this…so thanks!
Christen :>
http://www.anunordinaryhello.com
You and I are so similar. I struggle with the same thing daily. I’m pretty sure my love language is physical touch but I guess it changes depending on my mood. It’s so strange how others can see us as so wonderful yet we can’t see it ourselves. It’s always good to have some time to regroup and focus. I’m glad you had that time. Hope you’re feeling much better.
Yep – I constantly worry about all of those things. Hang in there, mama! I hope you’ve had some time to relax and reflect and are in a happy place now!
Alissa, I am so sorry someone personally attacked you. Remember – sometimes people throw things at things that are shiny. I’m so sorry. Hugs.
i am with you, girl – a total words of affirmation kind of person! not saying that i have it all figured out, but i know when negative words are thrown by way, i always go back to truth – whether it be what i know about myself and most importantly what God thinks of me. lots of hugs! you know you are so loved! <3
Words of Affirmation is my love language too! Above and beyond all others! One little negative thing and my whole day/whole week is completely ruined! I’ve been seeing these she reads truth posts… Maybe I need to look into that! Have a great week Alissa.